To The Girl I Thought I Loathed

Today, I started a friendship over. I forgave and was forgiven. I saw the change that The Lord can make in someone. I was blessed beyond belief by a girl I thought I loathed. Today, was a good day; a beautiful day.

In high school our judgement is so clouded. We live for the moment and can't seem to observe the future. All we care about is making friends and being the best. I was so caught up in being validated by my peers that I lost sight of the true goal in life; to love others as we wish to be loved. So, I pushed and shoved and connived and stabbed and lashed out and killed the souls of my class mates. But one girl, in particular, I could not stand. Maybe it was the way she wasn't afraid of me or maybe it was her blonde hair and perfect skin. I was jealous. I hate admitting it, but I was. She could make anyone laugh and even though people said she was insecure, I saw a fearless girl with her head held high ready to fight anyone who crossed her path. It's probably the reason I wanted to hurt her so much. So when I got the chance to take her down, I did. And I loved every second of it. I was cruel and ruthless and a typical teenaged girl. I was what I hated. I detested everything I had become. After senior year ended, I was certain that I would never talk to this girl again because we had both made each other bleed out.

You can imagine that it came as a surprise to me when I got a text from her asking me if I wanted to grab coffee sometime. The first thing that I thought was that she just wanted to rehash all of our fights and start the nastiness over again. But my heart had softened and I no longer felt the hatred and angst that had been so strong just a couple months earlier. I needed to apologize. "Yes, why not! Can't wait to catch up." What had I gotten myself into?

She walked into the coffee shop and she glowed. It was the first thing I noticed about her; the way she smiled like she belonged. She sat down at the table and struck up conversation like we had been friends for years. We talked about classes, her adventures in the dorms, her friends. We shared stories and laughs and I apologized profusely and asked how she could even want to have coffee with me. She replied with a simple statement that left me speechless, "Jesus took everything and everyone away from me so that I could love again and acknowledge my helplessness." Was this the same girl I knew in high school?

Jesus blossomed in her like I had never seen in anyone before. She was a new person with a spirit and heart of beauty and fire. She was a profound daughter of God. I can't quite describe it, but I was filled up by her joy. She made me want to run, dance, and shout the glory of His name. She left the coffee shop after hugging me goodbye and telling me to keep in touch. Then, I sat in my car and sobbed. I didn't know why I was crying. I just was. I saw God's handy work in a person right before my eyes. It was incredible and moving.

Forgiveness is a masterpiece. A weight was lifted today. My anger was replaced with peace and friendship. She gave me a gift that can not be bought or seen. She gave me the gift of her love back into my broken places. And not once did she take credit. Jesus healed both of us through each other.

So, here is to the girl I once detested. Here is to the girl I once saw as someone who I never wanted to be. Here is to the girl who once tore me down. Here is to the girl I once threw my words at without a second thought.

Here is to the girl saved by His grace. You are my role model.

John 16:33