Find Your People

I was sure I wanted to be rich. Isn't that a shame that I spent my young years pondering the jobs that would make me the most money? I thought about clothes. I thought about cars. I thought about beautiful apartments. Too bad that growing up doesn't go according to plan. I had everything planned, down to the relationship my roommate and I would share in our dorm room. I knew what club I was going to be the head of and I had all my emotions marked out for each day; I would only feel homesick for a week and then I would start to fall in love with the place I was about to spend the next four years. I had college organized to the T. Well, I screwed up. I'm lonely and pathetic. I have been homesick for much longer than my allotted one week. College seemed much better when it was all in the future and stuff of dreams.

What am I doing wrong? I've asked my college counselor numerous times if what I'm feeling is normal and she replies with the obligatory statement, "just wait till you find your people and then it will feel like home." No. The problem is, I've found my people. And I don't like them. The people I'm supposed to get, don't get me at all. I've surrounded myself with people who I thought had the same ambition as me; make lots of money and put criminals in jail. That's just the problem... Life isn't about the money. WHY IN THE HECK DID I THINK MONEY COULD FUFILL ME? I don't want the penthouses and the fancy cars and the status. It took me two months out of my eighteen years to realize that you only get one shot at this life so why waste it on always hoping for the next big promotion. I wish I liked college, I really do but I just can't stand everyone lallygagging around waiting for their lives to start. I'm tired of everyone getting drunk every weekend because there is nothing else to do in Nebraska. I'm sick of being asked if I smoke weed just because I'm from Colorado. I'm really done with being asked to "netfilx and chill."

So my real question is: why does society put so much emphasis on higher education when half of my class mates are destroying their lives one alcohol poisoning at a time? I'm lost and confused and I'm not going to know the answers anytime soon. I guess all I can do now is try to find more people that supposedly will make me feel at home. All I know is that I don't want to be rich.